Dear Be-YAWN-Say
Dear Be-YAWN-Say,
I was watching your American Express commercial the other night and I wanna know how can I roll like you roll? I mean with my current situation of temporary handi-cap-ness I need some personal assistant type $hit. I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors about me breaking my ankle while skiing at Puffy’s Swiss Chalet (totally false!!! I don’t do Puff Patty -he suspect) and all that. Yes I’ve suffered a tragic, life altering, injury that has caused me to do a lot of soul searching. Therefore I have plenty of time to watch T.V.
Well I watched your commercial and saw how all the peoples & ‘nem be catering to you & I was feeling left out!!! For example when I hopped in Target the other day and asked for the little driving cart, nobody ran over to help me. Them sorry Nigras pointed at the cart & I had to hop over & unplug that biach myself and slide on it the best way I could. Of course the speed knob on that sucker was broke (you know the Target on Campus Way is SKRAIGHT hood) and I damn near ran over 5 or 6 people cause it was stuck on high speed. So I simply drove thru that biach yelling BEEP BEEP at the top of my lungs. I ended up knocking all they $hit down in the feminine hygiene section cause nobody would reach up to the top shelf for me. So I took my crutches & kept knocking on items till the Summers Eve I wanted fell down.
I also noticed how the lil Chica Rica maid at the fancy hotel in your commercial served you tea and asked if you wanted turn down service. Now in my house, I’m lucky to get a bottle of water. I mean not only did I have to go to Giant and drive one of those damn lil carts again (I only ran over one person this time), plus take all the kids with me to purchase my groceries. I have to hop around in the kitchen trying to make me fried bologna & egg sandwiches while gripping my crutches to keep from falling face first into the stove. So far I’ve been successful just a few burns on my thumbs & some skin missing off my elbow but that’s minor. As for as turn down service I simply crawl to my floor pallet and cover up with Lil Peasly’s Spider Man blanket. My arm is my pillow.
Sorry B-YAWN-Say I lost my train of thought in the middle of this letter. I received to very disturbing phone calls while I was typing. I swear Nigras always ignoring my advice and getting theyselves (yes I’m feeling my southern vernacular today) into situations and then calling me in a panic. Super Slim took her ANTM shape to Ft Pierce & got lost in the hood. Then her simple ass come calling me for directions like she ain’t got GPS in her Tahoe. I asked her why she didn’t use it & her reply was "it cost". DUH!!!! I know you don’t have that problem though cause you got Camel boy (Jigga) and a camel can find they way ANYTwhere.
Soon as I finish directing her up out the police cordoned area to Muscle Mike house, Jamaican Jerk - that’s my cousin Carabana boyfriend come calling me talking bout this biach done fell out in the middle of the road like Celie did when Shug left. Apparently she narrowly avoided a terrible FINANCIAL FIASCO and was overwhelmed with relief.
B-YAWN just please come by & scoop me one day so I can get a taste of the good life. I notice you always on T.V. talking bout how you helps the poor, and the kids & cripples peoples and what nots. If you can’t come by if you can send a few dollars that will help to. I have to go crawl upstairs now so I can fix me a fried bologna & cheese sandwich and some red kool-aid (that’s my dinner special).
Signed Trapped in Skate World
I was watching your American Express commercial the other night and I wanna know how can I roll like you roll? I mean with my current situation of temporary handi-cap-ness I need some personal assistant type $hit. I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors about me breaking my ankle while skiing at Puffy’s Swiss Chalet (totally false!!! I don’t do Puff Patty -he suspect) and all that. Yes I’ve suffered a tragic, life altering, injury that has caused me to do a lot of soul searching. Therefore I have plenty of time to watch T.V.
Well I watched your commercial and saw how all the peoples & ‘nem be catering to you & I was feeling left out!!! For example when I hopped in Target the other day and asked for the little driving cart, nobody ran over to help me. Them sorry Nigras pointed at the cart & I had to hop over & unplug that biach myself and slide on it the best way I could. Of course the speed knob on that sucker was broke (you know the Target on Campus Way is SKRAIGHT hood) and I damn near ran over 5 or 6 people cause it was stuck on high speed. So I simply drove thru that biach yelling BEEP BEEP at the top of my lungs. I ended up knocking all they $hit down in the feminine hygiene section cause nobody would reach up to the top shelf for me. So I took my crutches & kept knocking on items till the Summers Eve I wanted fell down.
I also noticed how the lil Chica Rica maid at the fancy hotel in your commercial served you tea and asked if you wanted turn down service. Now in my house, I’m lucky to get a bottle of water. I mean not only did I have to go to Giant and drive one of those damn lil carts again (I only ran over one person this time), plus take all the kids with me to purchase my groceries. I have to hop around in the kitchen trying to make me fried bologna & egg sandwiches while gripping my crutches to keep from falling face first into the stove. So far I’ve been successful just a few burns on my thumbs & some skin missing off my elbow but that’s minor. As for as turn down service I simply crawl to my floor pallet and cover up with Lil Peasly’s Spider Man blanket. My arm is my pillow.
Sorry B-YAWN-Say I lost my train of thought in the middle of this letter. I received to very disturbing phone calls while I was typing. I swear Nigras always ignoring my advice and getting theyselves (yes I’m feeling my southern vernacular today) into situations and then calling me in a panic. Super Slim took her ANTM shape to Ft Pierce & got lost in the hood. Then her simple ass come calling me for directions like she ain’t got GPS in her Tahoe. I asked her why she didn’t use it & her reply was "it cost". DUH!!!! I know you don’t have that problem though cause you got Camel boy (Jigga) and a camel can find they way ANYTwhere.
Soon as I finish directing her up out the police cordoned area to Muscle Mike house, Jamaican Jerk - that’s my cousin Carabana boyfriend come calling me talking bout this biach done fell out in the middle of the road like Celie did when Shug left. Apparently she narrowly avoided a terrible FINANCIAL FIASCO and was overwhelmed with relief.
B-YAWN just please come by & scoop me one day so I can get a taste of the good life. I notice you always on T.V. talking bout how you helps the poor, and the kids & cripples peoples and what nots. If you can’t come by if you can send a few dollars that will help to. I have to go crawl upstairs now so I can fix me a fried bologna & cheese sandwich and some red kool-aid (that’s my dinner special).
Signed Trapped in Skate World
posted by Ms G @ 5:16 AM
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