Between Republicans & Florida - The Fun Never Stops

“I’ve been in the storm too long!!! I’ve been in the storm ….too long!!!!”

Family I swear I had to break out the Willie Banks CD this morning! The Mighty Clouds of Joy rendition of this song wouldn’t do it this time. I had to take it waaaay waaaay waaay back to the days when Bigmama used to take us to the ‘sanging’ at New Philadelphia Missionary ‘we have no shame in charging you to come hear the peoples sang’ Baptist Church. The pure foolishment of the past few weeks has been too much for my Christian sensibilities!! I swear FO GOD!!! I SWEAR FO GOD!!!!

First Michael Steele simple @ss coming out with the whole “how you like me now” b-boy stance and pose caused me to collapse across my treadmill (well maybe the1.5 speed did but any who I’ma blame it on the nigra – everyone else does-Susan Smith anyone). This whole my plans for the Republican Party are going to be “off the hook” hip hop slang this shiny forehead pink lip nigra is tossing round is too much for my inundated soul. Mr. Steele and the Republican Party needs to understand that black folk & young folk are more than just a monolithic body of imbeciles that you can get to come on your side by tossing out some rap lines and ‘urban vernacular’. (Now I know some of you all will have to get a translator for the ENTIRE preceding sentence – but Ms G INSISTS on doing her part to help educate the masses). Yet obviously some behind the scene Republican Genius (think of telling someone they baby is pretty when you know it ain’t true – that will put ‘genius’ in context for you) looked at the Democrats and said they got a hip Negro that hangs out with JayZ lets get us one who raps like him – hence Michael Steele. They would have come out better offering free fried chicken.

And I refuse to even waste a full thought out paragraph on the “The Real Republican Leader” that is the OBESE red faced little man stick CRACKHEAD (yeah I said that $hit) known as Rush Limbaugh! I can’t and I won’t. Think about it people - would you stand on the corner and argue with Tyrone after he just copped 2 stones from Bo Peet? Seriously – I think not!

For the most part, Ms G would like to hold to the belief that the American People are much smarter than this. And this was firmly planted in my heart and soul till I read this $hit right here!!!

THIS IS THE TYPE OF $HIT RIGHT HERE THAT SHAKES THE VERY FOUNDATION OF OUR NATION!!! FLUCK THE RECESSION!!

FORT PIERCE, FL -- Told McDonald’s was out of Chicken McNuggets after paying for a 10-piece, a local woman called 911...Three times. (AND T.O. THINK HE GOT PROBLEMS – NIGRA PLEASE)

"This is an emergency, if I would have known they didn't have McNuggets, I wouldn't have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don't want one,” Latreasa L. Goodman later told police. “This is an emergency." (I KNOW AS SOON AS YOU STARTED READING THIS YOU WERE PRAYING “PLEASE DON’T LET HER BE BLACK” BUT CHECK THE NAME. Y’ALL ALREADY KNOW BETTER. YOU KNOW HOW WE DO BOUT OUR FOOD. BECKY ANN WOULDA LET THAT $HIT RIDE. BUT NOT LATREASA ‘NEM)

The McNugget meltdown happened last week at a McDonald’s in the 600 block of North U.S. 1 and ended with Goodman, 27, getting a notice to appear on a misuse of 911 charge, according to a recently released police report.

Goodman told investigators she tried to get a refund for the 10-piece McNuggets, but the cashier told her all sales are final. (AT THIS POINT I KNOW SOME FOLKS WHO WOULD HAVE CLIMBED CROSS THE COUNTER AND GOT THAT @SS – MYSELF INCLUDED- I GOTTA COUSIN AWAITING CHARGES STEMMING FROM GETTING STUCK IN A WENDYS DRIVE THRU WINDOW RIGHT NOW CAUSE A BIACH WOULDN’T GIVE HER, HER FREE FROSTIES)

"I called 911 because I couldn't get a refund, and I wanted my McNuggets," Goodman told police.
The cashier told police she offered Goodman, of the 2400 block of South 25th Street, a larger portion of food for the same price to make up for it, but said Goodman got “irate,” the report states.

Goodman reportedly yelled, "I don't want a McDouble and small fry," the cashier told investigators.

Dispatchers for 911 told police Goodman called the emergency number three times and on each occasion was told an officer was en route
.
“Goodman maintained the attitude ‘this is an emergency, my McNuggets are an emergency,’” the report states.

McNuggets, introduced to the McDonald’s national menu in 1983, are sold in more than 100 countries and, unlike the McDouble, are often dunked in barbecue or hot mustard sauce.
Goodman’s 10-piece selection has 460 calories and 29 grams of fat.

McDonald's statement:
"Satisfying each and every customer that visits our restaurants is very important to us.Regarding this isolated incident, we apologize for the inconvenience caused.In the event that we are unable to fill an order, a customer should be offered the choice of a full refund or alternative menu items. We regret that in this instance, that wasn't the case.We want to correct our mistake. We will be sending the customer her refund, along with an Arch card for a complimentary meal on us.We never want to disappoint a McNuggets fan or any McDonald's customer.Customer satisfaction is our top priority."
Carlos SolorzanoMcDonald's Operations Manager Florida Region

Ike & Tina, The Black Prez and Son Thou Art Loosed

You Nigras just won’t do right for nothing in the world!!!! As soon as Obama was elected I TOLD yall @sses not to be running around acting a got d@mn fool!!!! But nooooooo……you just wrong and ain’t no right in you!!!!

Now after I stood out in the cold with a crying Mama Nem (she was so happy after growing up with them fire hoses hitting that @ss to see a black pres), Lil G (she & Lil Carabana rolled out after they heard Ne-Yo wasn’t there) Lady Carabana (and them d@mn heat pads) and that I’ma kill you for smoking cigarettes outdoors in public boyfriend of hers (I swear I thought he was going to beat this YT to death out there on the national mall smoking) for 10 hours in 5 degree temps just to see Obama on a jumbotron. Sick for two weeks after with double nigraittis!! Yall Nigras wanna go mess up the picture!

Just as I was recovering from welcoming our FIRSTEDED BLACK PRESIDENT (yeah yeah I know his mama was YT but yall old enough to understand that one drop rule) – and celebrate a new era in black love. SOMEBODY decides to reincarnate good ole Ike Turner!!!!

In the immortal words of Florida ‘Original Bahamian Massive’ Evans – DAYUM! DAYUM! DAYUM!

Now I don’t know what in the hell REALLY happened between Chris Breezy and Miss Pon de Forehead (yall know Rihanna forehead is big), but all this photo shopped picture emailing, has gone too far. I mean we are in recession people. LETS FOCUS!!! Yall crying over this, not doing your work on the plantation, arguing with friends AS IF Pon de Forehead gone give you some of that Cover Girl money when she finally heal. I want even mention Joe Campbell (yall know Jay-Z look like a damn Camel in heat) issuing a death warrant!

I mean it is really out of control!!! A certain cousin – I won’t say who cause I blive she got some peoples that’s been to prison so you know I don’t wanna be Pon de Forehead part II or have nobody bucking on me like Etta did Beyonce – called me in a tizzy hollering bout “TURN TO NBC QUCIK!” I quickly grabbed my remote and flipped on the TV. thinking the Taliban had surrendered or that Osama had FINALLY stopped hiding in Pookie nem basement. But NOOOOOOOO what did I see - Chris Breezy I blinded myself and now need some money broke @ss step pappy on E.T. talking bout he “loveded” Chris and was a good father to him. NEGRO PLEASE!! From what Tulip told Lady C this mfr was whipping @ss like Mister did Celie –down in Carolina country on a regular basis!!! Wait a minute…. I just got an email… hold on yall…..

Well I’ll be a church lady dressed in white sitting in the Amen corner. Somebody – you know who you are, you no good and ain’t no right in you – just sent me a mug shot and police report on T.D. Jakes son. This nigra got his nasty rusty big lip round head my daddy look like a walrus (sorry pastor) @ss out in the park with his man stick swinging at the ‘2 snaps & a circle’ boys!!! Now he know d@mn well…….umm ummm ummmm!! I hope he wasn’t shouting “THOU ART LOOSED” cause I swear I will take my bible down to Texas and beat that Nigra @ss my damn self!!!!

People I can’t even write no more. I have to call an emergency meeting of the Pentecostal Church of the Holy Negro Publicity Patrol it’s the YT Man Fault Church of God in Christ! Somewhere we should be able to find a way to blame this on the YT man. Cause nigras just can’t act like this on their own!!!

I’m going to get me some Hen Dog – straight no chaser, fried shrimp and collard greens from the Chinese people on the corner (yes I have been reduced to that). Pull out my ‘What’s Love Got to Do with It’ & ‘Color Purple’ till I can get myself together and sort all this $hit out.

“Oh Oh Ike. Ike”

“Anna Mae. I don’t know whatta I’ma do. If you die, Biach I swear I’ll KILL YOU!! You here me Anna Mae?”

“I don’t want no cake Ike”

“White man tell you to open your mouth you sing all got dayum day”

“Eat the Cake Anna Mae”

“Miss Celie. What I’ma do bout Sophia? She won’t mind. Talk back. What I’ma do Miss Celie?”

“Beat Her”

Yall know the rest!

VOTE!!! VOTE!!! VOTE!!!

VOTE!!!

DON’T STAY HOME

DON’T SAY THE LINE IS TOO LONG – REMEMBER PEOPLE SWUNG FROM TREES SO YOU COULD HAVE THE PRIVILEDGE OF STANDING IN LONG LINES! BESIDES PEOPLE IN OTHER PARTS OF THE WORLD – AFRICA- STAND IN LINE FOR UP TO 3 DAYS SOMETIMES JUST TO VOTE AND MIGHT LOSE A LIMB IN THE PROCESS.

DO NOT GO UP IN THERE RAISING YOUR RAG AND JUMPING UP & DOWN LIKE YOU EXPECTING TO SEE T.I. UP IN THAT PIECE. HE ALREADY VOTED.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!! READ YOUR BALLOT SCREEN, WHATEVER VERY CAREFULLY BEFORE SUBMITTING YOUR COMPLETED VOTE CARD!!! READING IS FUNDAMENTAL SO DON’T COME OUT THE BOOTH CRYING CAUSE YOU COULDN’T TELL YOUR VOTE WAS SWITCHED TO MCCAIN!!

PLEASE TAKE YOUR I.D., SOCIAL SECURITY CARD, AND VOTER REGISTRATION CARD. HELL EVEN YOUR BIRTH CERTIFICATE – IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE NEEDED , BUT JUST IN CASE THEM LIL OLE PEOPLES THAT VOLUNTEER GET CONFUSED ABOUT YOUR IDENTITY AND YOUR CITIZENSHIP STATUS YOU CAN BUST THAT $HIT OUT WITH THE D.C. GENERAL SEAL OF APPROVAL!!

VOTE VOTE VOTE. ANY PROBLEMS CALL 1-866-OUR-VOTE OR THE U.S. JUSTICE DEPARTMENT 11-800-253-3931

If yall don’t here from me tomorrow then I might be in slammer for beating a geriatric poll worker if they don’t let my use my voice by casting my ballot. I WILL NOT BE SILENCED!!!

Violence of Voting

People, I said I wasn’t going to write anything till after Obama won this election. I had taken myself off to the mountains of the Dalai Lama and the Temple of the Holy Redeemer of the Sanctified Crusaders of the Cross Church and Holy Bible Book Store (yes I did go there) to abandon myself in non-cessation (I know that ain’t right but yall know how Passor say pray without ceasing) prayer for a positive peaceful outcome. I have truly tried to stick to my praying time. I couldn’t do the fasting, 'cause a big girl gotta eat, but I was prostrate on the temple floor in prayer for at least 2 out of the 24 hour prayer day.

Hemingway, the commotion of the last few days has reached a fever pitch and I could no longer hold my peace. Family what in the fried chicken watermelon food stamp (I know THAT email made its’ way cross your monitors) grits hell is wrong with folks? This campaign has brought out the worse side of people on both sides of party and color lines. I mean really - Pookie and Lil Jay Jay running up to Ole Man Festus house messing up his McCain Signs hollering bout “this is for Obama!!” I see he shot the $hit out they @ss too. To be honest, if I was old, YT and the only person on my street with a McCain sign & saw 2 Nigras running up in my yard yelling & $hit I would have done the same thing (even if I wasn’t I still woulda shot they @ss). You CANNOT resort to violence to get people to vote the way YOU want them to vote. Lest we forget our parents, grandparents and great grandparents faced similar and more extreme intimidation in the past. Two wrongs DO NOT make a right.

Speaking of two wrongs, what in the Pabst Blue Ribbon roast pig corn liquor and Toby Keith CDs hell was dem two YT skinted up heads boys thinking? Planning to go shoot up some black school children & behead some more of them? NOTE to YT Skint heads. First of all Nigras IS NOT gone stand there while you shoot more than two people without either running, jumping you and beating the hell out of you or depending on school location, pulling out they own $hit and shooting back at your corn muffin and blueberry pie @ss! The hate people, the hate!!! At this point I must invoke the presences of Sir Rodney King and ask “CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?”

Basically at this point I MUST use my voice and speak on the critical issues ahead. I will NOT WASTE my time nor yours commenting on the distractionary (it’s my blog I can make up all the words & $hit I want too) of Sarah Palin and John McCain. Them two with they code words and “we just love small towns like this” where it ain’t but one minority who the locals consider “harmless” and a “good boy” aren’t even worth my breath. What I WILL comment on is that these distractions voiced to cover the real issues – economy, jobless rate, foreclosures – are well placed and enough to strike fear in the hearts of “good ole Americans like us” to keep people from really looking at the issues, taking the time to investigate each candidates plans etc. etc.

I had planned to hold an informational rally at Ms Betty’s House of Hair and Honey Baked Biscuits, but of course neither Ms Betty nor Mr. Rufus picked up the permits on time or the chairs from the church hall for people to sit in. So instead I will just instruct my readers, fans and yes haters (LOL you ain’t bout it if you ain’t got no haters) to go to the web, library, local party campaign sites etc. to educate yourselves on the REAL issues and facts. Also if you have some of them vienna sausages, water and sardines left over from the millennium preparations I suggest you pull them biaches out cause you might need that $hit next week!

NIGRAOSITY

There is nothing like a Tyler Perry movie to start a week of great Nigraosity moments. This week is no exception my friends. Friday I figured I would take an extended lunch (longer than the usual extension) and pop into Potomac Yards to catch the 11:50am showing of The Family that Preys. I usually don’t do black implosion (LOOK IT UP) films on their first week out but I figured what the heck. It’s Friday. You ain’t got nothing to do. Surely the sanctified ghetto gospel warrior hand clapping screen shouters won’t be out this early. Right? So wrong! PURE NIGRAOSITY

I should have known when I pulled into the parking space and the couple next to me exiting a super soup Chevy PT Cruiser with the chrome package deluxe kept exchanging a litany of “this gone be good” that I was in for a NBC (national black caricature) primetime special. I refuse to even comment on the mans outfit of cleaners pressed funeral program worthy knee-ankle jeans with a fresh white tee a-la platinum chain (falling out at your desk laughing is appropriate now) with wifey in her Ashley Stewarts finest ensemble -4 sizes too small- I got to look my best since we “going out Virginia” . I simply refuse folks. Ten minutes after I take my seat I realized my grave miscalculation of the Nigra population when about 10 to 12 people trailed in complaining cause the movie had already started. Umm 11:50 wasn’t posted by the theater as a start time suggestion people. Needless to say I will have to see the movie again when it comes out on DVD. Because with all the clapping, “No she didn’t”, “hit that ho” talking back to the screen I couldn’t possibly began to hear what the movie was ACTUALLY about. PURE NIGRAOSITY

Hoping this was not an indicator of what my weekend would be like, I made plans to take the chillens to Hoops for the Homeless on Saturday. Unfortunately Nigras hate to disappoint. Between all them bad @ss chilrens and the women, who looked older than my grandmamma, dressed in stiletto boots and 9 inch platforms my soul was severely wounded (I simply REFUSE to discuss the appearance of YTs in their usual state of YT confusion, recycled jeans and Birkenstock footwear). First off the steps in the Verizon center are tricky. One false left and you going down! And why is it that some of us will put on Ho Stroll clothing at an event that CLEARLY is about the kids? WHY BIACH WHY? Note to my sisters. When every dimple, nook and cellulite cranny you have can be viewed through a pair of ‘denim’ jeans, it is time to let that $hit go! If your belly – all 3 OF THEM- hangs below your belt loops….you know what it’s no point in me even continuing this sentence cause them biaches old enough to know better. I shan’t and I shan’t. PURE NIGRAOSITY

Hemingway, by the time I left there – without getting a hug from Gilbert Arenas I might add – and made it to the Tree of Life birthday party at Ms. Ankle Britches (Ankles on Swole I should say, with her extra pregnant can I marry my baby daddy ass) house, I was done for. I simply sat. Ate. Drank 3 orange flavor check sodas (nothing like a ghetto orange soda) and it was a wrap! I couldn’t WAIT to get home and see my BBQ King so he could put a smile on my face. PURE NIGRAOSITY

My baby was waiting for me at the door with a big smile! If I hadn’t been so caught up in the gleam, my internal warning bells would have went off that this Nigra was WAY too happy to see me!! I should have known something was up from that fake @ss Uncle Ben smile. Lo and Behold this SUPA NIGRA went and accepted a catering job for 65 people for some turkey, lasagna, wings, collard greens, yams, mac & cheese, string beans, yellow rice etc. and said he was only charging $600 for it and said he would do the meat I just needed to do the other stuff. I told that needle point nigra he would be a yam shaving green picking field hand all night before I cooked all that $hit for $600. That nigra played Keith Sweat all night but he still got the same answer when the sun rose!!! Pure Nigraosity!!

500 Miles to Hungry Amusement

I heard your call and now I’m back. Family I know you have been worried & appreciate all the cards, flowers, donations and other items that have been so CONSPICUOUSLY absent from the other bull$hit you’ve sent me. Hemingway. The truth is after the death of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes, fainting at the Democratic National Convention ‘cause Michelle Obama had stolen my dress and imported a Haitian tailor by way of the Bahamas to size it just perfect for her, and the piece de resistance that damn email of some black people (not sure where but I put my money on Atlanta) dressed up like some knights of the round table looking a hot @ss sanctified mess – including the chilrens having a “ROYAL” wedding complete with crest flags, yellow & purple head ropes & knee britches ! People it just sent me over the edge! Fortunately BBQ King came to my rescue with the suggestion of a quick getaway – at least I thought. I was thinking Bahamas, Tahiti, and Cayman something along those lines. That Nigra was thinking more like Columbus, Ohio to visit some friends.

So we load up the car – including the kids – which was a killer already cause you know all we heard was “WHERE are we? I’m tired! I want Mc Donald’s!” blah blah blah. Fortunately after 7 hours of scenic, watch for falling rock, deer & bear signs we made it to our destination. Luckily the outside of the hotel looked like the pictures on the internet or else I would have blown that biach up, as tired and hungry as I was. As soon as we got settled, BBQ Kings best friend Mister called. Said he was on his way to take us to his house. I thought cool. I remembered when I visited them when they lived in the crescent city, his wife could lay down on the stove and burn (if you ain’t from south of Richmond – you know nothing about this). .

Well I get all excited, worked up etc waiting for Mister. We follow him home and as I get out the car, the sudden emptiness or void of aroma in the air strikes me as strange. But I brush it off and rush my hongray black @ss to the door. Upon entering the established resident of said such persons (I have to break it down like the Po Po because what occurred up in that biach was indeed a crime) I discovered said suspect ain’t have not nary a cornbread or meat on the table. Chick was looking at me like whatever. She then proceeded to announce that she had made some hot dogs with all the fixings including chili & we should “feel free to help ourselves”. Chick just doesn’t know how close she came to a fatal beat down!!!

After driving damn near 500 hunneredth mileses with screaming chillens, grumpy teenagers and a sleeping map reader, did she really think I was in the mood for some DAMN HOTDOGS!!! Hell I could’ve stayed at home and cooked that my damn self. I was so mad I was ready to go back home that same night. But yall knows I’m a Christian and I know Rev Cut A Nigra Nuts Off would have been upset with me if I hadn’t given it another try. So we made plans to meet early the next morning.

The Devil is a Liar if this Nigra didn’t come to the hotel at 9am with some tickets to a broke down second cousin of Kings Dominion, than I ain’t sexy!!! First off Ms G. does not typically partake of ‘amusement’ parks in the summer. There is nothing amusing about pushing through crowds in 90 plus degree heat with bad @ss crying screaming yelling children all around you and sweating pink YT people. Secondly the fact that we had to transport nearly 2 hours away to arrive at said such amusement burning up my gas – umm I’m too Christian to finish the sentence on that one. THEN the straw that knocked the camel down, choked out his hump and KILT him dead we had to reimburse this Nigra for some tickets for somewhere I didn’t wanna go in the first place!

Family, right now my nerves are still way too bad to tell you bout the actual park experience itself. Lest just say after whipping three lil YT chilren for stepping on my feet, getting caught pulling my own sodas & chips out, ‘cause you know they don’t allow you to bring nothing in, and being so hot and tired that I was willing to make a deal with the devil to rest in his house. The $hit was just way too much.

At the end Mister tried to redeem himself by offering to take us to dinner after the park. Again, me being the Christian that I am put aside my anger and agreed to dinner. After all it was on his dollar, not my dime. I figured the day could be salvaged. That is until we pulled up in the parking lot of Golden Corral. If JESUS was to ever get down of the cross, throw his hands up and give up the ghost, this nigra $hit right here would have made him do it. TWICE!!!.

Lord Don't Let My Children Grow Up to Be Republican!

As some of you may or may not know there is a black movement in the Republican Party. The National Black Republican Party is currently headed by one Frances Rice, former Lt Colonel in the U.S. Army, born in Atlanta, Georgia and currently living in Sarasota, Fl. She has a blog titled blackrepublicans and allows others to post commentary as well. Whilst perusing her blog I came across a post by the one & only Coach Dave Daubenmire. Reading his post was not only infuriating it was DOWNRIGHT emotionally draining, condescending and just downright nasty! His disingenuous attempts at disguising an attack on Obama as a conversation with a black man IS EXACTLY why the Republican Party has the track record it has today with Black Americans.

However what is most disturbing is that a seemingly intelligent, well rounded SISTAH would allow such an insult to blacks EVERYWHERE to be posted on her blog is the REAL INJUSTICE. Not only does Coach Dave couch his insults in stereotypical black vernacular, he makes concerted effort to perpetuate the conservative white American myth that blacks are one ‘monolithic shucking & jiving, crabs in a barrel, you ain’t black lest you hood and been shot at a couple times’ to it’s fullest. My people knowledge is power!!!! Remove your & your children’s, family, neighbors, strangers focus from the cesspool that it is ignorance in the form of so called ‘entertainment television, street lit, and the latest keeping it real fashion trends’ AND go out AND DISCOVER the real truth!!!

p.s. Don’t wait for the YT man to bring it to you either!!!

Obama Ain't Black

By Coach Dave Daubenmire
July 18, 2008
NewsWithViews.com

"Obama ain't black."

I turned to look over my shoulder to see who had uttered that ridiculous statement.

"Pardon Me?" I squinted at the dark-skinned man who had just interjected himself into my over-coffee conversation with my buddy, Kevin.

"Obama ain't black." He said again more matter-of-factly as he walked around the porcelain dividing wall and stood at our table where he could be more active in our conversation.

"My name's Andree," he said as he extended his hand. "I couldn't help but hear what you boys had been discussin' and I don't mean to stick my nose in where it don't belong, but I couldn't leave without settin' you straight. Obama ain't black."

I looked at Kevin as he shifted nervously in his seat, not sure how to take this visitor to our table.

"Well, have a seat Andree," somewhat trying to judge the book by its cover. "I'm Dave, but most folks call me Coach, and this is Kevin." Kevin extended his hand politely.

"Oh, I know who you are. I'm always seein' you in the news and I listen to your radio show, that's why I decided I needed to say something. Do you mind if I have a seat?"

"Absolutely…sit down." He had my attention as I tried to figure out where this conversation was headed.

"I don't have a whole lot of time, so let me say my piece and then I gotta get off to work." He was dressed neatly in his brown package-delivery service attire.

"I want you to know that not all black folk are the dummies the media makes us out to be. Lots of us think for ourselves. You have a voice, Coach, but more importantly, you have courage. You are not afraid to say what needs to be said. I know that about you. I don't really know you…but I know that about you. The kind of courage you have is rare these days."

"Thanks, Andree," I said as I looked into his deep, thoughtful eyes. "Feel free to say what is on your mind, brother…." (Bells and sirens starting going off in my head.) I had just called this strange black man "brother" – and not because he was black but because I've developed a habit of calling fellow Christians "brother."

"Please forgive me, Andree," I hurriedly interjected an apology for my insensitive remark. "I didn't mean anything by it…sorry if I offended you." He leaned forward slowly and looked directly in my eyes. "See, that's why I sat down here, brother; and we are brothers. They've got even honest folks like you afraid to speak the truth. Talk to me like I'm white, and I'll talk to you like you were black, OK? Let me fill you in on what is really going on."

"Obama ain't black -- only his skin is. He is what I like to call a BOSCO…Black On Skin Color Only. They are doing all they can to try and convince everyone that he is black but Obama is white."

I was not sure how to react. I was only thinking what would be said about me if I were to say this on my radio show or write about it in my weekly column. But I wasn't about to do that. I'm aware of the double standard that exists. Only whites can be racists, blacks can't. To say what Andree had just said has ruined many a career. A white guy would have to be a fool to raise questions regarding Obama's blackness in today's PC culture.

"Come on now, Coach," he continued. "I know you are a man who is not afraid of the truth, so let me pass you a little pepper to mix with that salt of yours. The only thing black about Obama is his daddy. Other than that, he is a white boy. His mama was a white woman from Kansas, he was born in Hawaii, his daddy wasn't even an American, he moved to Indonesia at the age of six, moved back to Hawaii at the age of ten where he lived with his white grandparents who enrolled him in an uppity prep school. He went to college at leftist Columbia, and eventually Harvard law school. How many boys from the hood can claim those accomplishments? There ain't one thing black about his life-experience. Obama is a BOSCO. If he had a white face he would just be another Dennis Kucinich."

"Jesse Jackson is black. Al Sharpton is black. Minister Farrakhan is black. But Obama…sorry, Coach, Obama ain't black. You see, those in the black community will tell you that you are black by the way you behave, not by the color of your skin. It is a cultural thing, as the rappers love to say."

"Clarence Thomas was never accepted by the black community. Neither was J. C. Watts, or Kenneth Blackwell, or Michael Steele. In fact, Bill Cosby was on of the most admired blacks in America until he started talking like he was white…expecting black daddies to raise their babies. Remember, being black is a cultural thing. Bill Clinton was black and so was Hillary, at least until she ran into Obama. He made her look like a pale-face. Why, just last week Rev. Jackson accused Obama of 'talking down to blacks.' How does a black talk down to blacks?"

"I get all of that, Andree, but why is Obama so popular with limousine-liberal, white politicians?" I asked.

"Come on, Coach, I thought you were sharper than that. Obama is popular because he is a BOSCO. He has a black face, which makes all of those on the black-plantation vote for him out of hope, but he talks and thinks like a white guy. Jesse couldn't pull that off. Sharpton could never appeal to white folks, but Obama can pull it off because he doesn't act black, he just looks black. He is less scary to white middle class America. He thinks and speaks like them. Most whites will vote for a black face, but they will never vote for the black culture. Obama holds the black vote and snookers the white vote."

Look what happened when it was discovered that Barry O. may have thought like a black guy. You remember Rev. Wright and his black liberation theology? Well, for twenty years Obama was buddies with the Reverend so that he could convince the black community that he wasn't just another J. C. Watts, but when the truth about the way his pastor really thought came out, Rev. Wright was booted off of the bus. Why? Rev. Wright scared white folks. He reminded folks of Jackson, Sharpton, and Farrakhan. But not Obama. Remember, Obama was raised white."

"Connect the dots for me, Andree." How I wished others could hear this average black man's perspective. "Why has he risen so fast? No one had even heard of him five years ago."

"Coachie," he giggled. "I thought you were smarter than you are showing, being a talk-show host and all. The Democrats aren't interested in Obama's skin color. They are interested in his politics. Obama is a socialist...which is what they like. But it is deeper than that. They used to call Clinton the "Teflon President" because nothing stuck to him. Well, Obama is the "radioactive" candidate. You don't dare touch him or it will be death to your career."

"If you mention his religion, you are a racist. If you question his experience you are a racist. When you point out his leftist record you are accused of racism. If you are against anything he stands for then it has to be because you are another one of those hateful, racist bigots. He's untouchable. Barry is a white socialist liberal with a black man's face. Come on, Coach, do you think his meteoric rise had anything to do with his skin color? He is the perfect candidate to sell socialism to America."

"I ain't gonna say he is a Muslim like some others, but he sure isn't a real Christian. I am a Christian and that is why I sat down to talk to you. Somebody has to tell the truth, Coach, somebody with some courage. Obama is a big-government socialist dressed up in a Willy Wonka suit. He will destroy what is left of America."

"I love this country. I fought in Iraq for her….saw lots of men die. And I'll tell you this; they didn't die so that a woman could kill her baby or so that a man could marry a man. And I quaran-dam-tee you they didn't fight and die to see this country handed over to the communists."

"Barack Obama is not black, Coach. He is a white big-government liberal with a chocolate veneer. If he gets elected we'll all be slaves. Please tell folks, Coach. Somebody has to do something. I know you are not afraid to speak the truth. Lots of folks are counting on you."

He got up, shook my hand and walked out to his brown truck.

"Hmm." Kevin grunted at me. "I hope you're not thinking of taking that one on?"

"Not me," I winked. "I could never get away with saying those things."


Coach Dave Daubenmire, founder and President of Pass The Salt Ministries www.ptsalt.com and Minutemen United www.minutemenunited.org, is host of the high octane Pass The Salt radio show heard in Columbus, Ohio. In 1999 Coach Daubenmire was sued by the ACLU for praying with his teams while coaching high school in Ohio. He now spends his energy fighting for Christian principles in the public domain.