Let The Church Say Amen

If I wasn’t a good CHRISTIAN woman I would ask Jesus to jump off the cross and start all over again!!! What in the 4, 5 hells is wrong with Rev Wright? Nigra go sit your black @ss down somewhere! Some people just don’t get the BIG picture. The “Media Machine” has nothing substantial on Obama so ergo Reverend Wright. They are going to use this Nigra’s sound bites from now till Bill Clinton gets his blackness back. By the time they get through showcasing the good Rev. Dr. of all Black Churches, Obama will be the 2nd O-man outcast behind OJ. Umm Umm Umm I can’t even discuss this anymore. It gives me a migraine to think that the first viable black candidate for president will fall victim to the knee grow crabs in a barrel syndrome. All because Rev Loose Neck trying to be the next Get Ready Get Ready Pastor My Suit’s Make Me Sweat T.D. Jakes. Damn tragedy!!

If Barack doesn’t watch out, his @ss will go from the campaign trail to chained behind Noxeema Ashy Ankle Crispy Knee Caps Burnt Wee Lips Jackson (yall know who – Wesley ‘Black Man’ Snipes) in a bright orange Volusia County jump suit begging somebody to write a character reference for his @ss and fighting over who will get to share a comfy cell with Ronald Isley. Seriously folks, what in the world was Wesley thinking? I guess ‘bout all them Asian women since black women were so difficult for him to deal with. Well he’ll know next time. ‘Cause if he had a black woman she woulda told his dumb @ss not to cheat Uncle Sam – or at least gave him some of her cousin chilren’s to claim.

Reading all this confusion in the online news periodicals was starting to be too much, especially when I got to the lil boy who stole his grandma Durango truck & went to “do some hood rat stuff”. Child gave new meaning to the phrase “I’ma drive that biach till the wheels fall off!” Umm my pressure. Plus on top of that supervisor had the nerve to send me a “didn’t I tell you “type of email about the rules & procedures governing my work documents and protocol. Obviously chick had just hit the pipe and temporarily lost her mind to come at me like that. A steady paycheck does not mean I won’t whip somebody @ss in the workplace & get put out by security. It’s been done before.

I figured at this point & with my state of mind being what it was I best call my doctor and get me some disability days to sit home and regroup. Let work miss me for a few days & see if I get some snippy emails after that (I swear Massa give the key to the plantation storehouse to some of yall & you act like he willed you some slaves and claimed you as his own. Don’t let that supervisor $hit go to your head- when cutbacks come YT will be the 1st to let you go).

Although the economy is shaky I figured I could use my disability time wisely and go get a pedicure. So I drove over to Rich’s nails on Central Ave and plopped in NyGuen Li Pai Pan (THAT’S what her license says – But I call ole girl Tina) chair and asked for the works. Of course she was very accommodating and quickly began running hot water, dropping in blue bubble stuff (hope it wasn’t from China) and turning on the massager.

“Ms. G you look like you have rough day. I give something special just for you” she said.

You know them Asians always got something special just for you – be it a discount, extra circle on your nail design or what have you, they make you feel special cause you “is number 1 best customer”

Tina broke out some Epsom salt as if she had just finished an old school remedy consultation with Bigmama. I was most pleased. That is until I saw the handwritten sign hidden in the corner that said Epsom Salt -$4.00 extra.

“Ms Tina. Does this Epsom Salt cost extra?” I asked her with a straight face and a hood crook to my neck.

“No, No! For you is only $3. See you special. I give you discount. Just for you. You is #1 best customer” she stated while pointing and moving her hands wildly.

“Oh heck no!!! Fluck a $3!!” I cried while simultaneously scooping Epsom Salt out of the bowl and dropping it back in the container she scooped it out of. That $hit don’t cost but 99 cents at the $1 store. I’ll be damned if they get some more water fountains, Buddha statues and incense at my expense.

At this point I decided to call it a day and use my disability time for something more productive like writing to the judge in the Sean Bell travesty of a case and trying to get through on the Michael Baisden comment line. But first things on my list, contacting my alma matter, Florida Memorial, and asking they @ss to explain to me why my alumni dollars is going to cover Mrs. Star Jones aka Ms Thing His Nastiness His Self – Al Reynolds’ salary.

Gas & The Pope Mobile

The average price of 87 octane gas at an EXXON station hovers around $3.45 per gallon.

Exxon’s 2007 profit was a record setting $40 BILLION!!! That’s right 40 BILLION DOLLARS!!!!!

Exxon CEO Rex Tillerson’s salary was a total of $21.7 MILLION – this included an 18% raise (don’t worry – YOU will NEVER receive that $hit where you work). His base salary was $1.8 million (before the raise), $3.4 million bonus (even my blind coworkers can see that $hit will never happen here), and approximately $16.1 million in stock options. He also received nearly $500, 000.00 in “other compensation” which include nearly $230,000 in personal security costs (yeah he need that $hit cause somebody like me who can’t fill up my lil putt putt might catch that nucca slipping & shank his @ss!) But I suppose someone somewhere feels he deserved that $hit, after all his company did post a record setting profit of $40 billion.

Some of you may not understand the term ‘profit’. For your benefit I am including a definition below:

Profit – the positive gain from an investment or business operation AFTER subtracting for all expenses. Opposite of loss

In applying this to yourself, think of your paycheck after the government subtracts its’ share. Subtract lunch money, child care – if you have any crumb snatchers -, work clothing (some of you may subtract less since club clothes double as work attire), and last but not least GAS to get to and fro. Now what was YOUR profit?


I know you are sitting there with your mouths open thinking HOW IN THE HELL did these folks make all this money, when the Arabs said they wasn’t making no more damn oil available. All the Iraqi oil is on fire and the U.S. does not have enough oil in reserves- so THEY say. I can tell you how in the hell. People we have been BAMBOOZLED!!! HOODWINKED!!!! DAVID COPPERFIELDED (these people are master illusionist)! Just plain old fashioned LIED TO!!!

The average American can barely make it to work on a daily basis due to the rising costs of fuel. Hell I was bout to stand on the corner with some House of Prayers sweet potato pies my damn self just to put some petro in the go mobile.

Yep the Oil companies and Government Contractors (especially Defense) are just raking in the dough. Meanwhile Sister Soulja & Princess Flower Girl are writing home from the war begging for toilet tissue. Something just ain’t right. One friend of mine had to break the bank – literally crack her piggy bank she’s had since 1998 and shake coins for gas, bread, water, milk etc – everything has gone up cause it costs more to transport goods to market. This troubled me a great deal!!!

I decided to contact Exxon in an attempt to gain some understanding of this. Of course the receptionist hung up on me several times & threatened to call the Po Po on my black @ss. Needless to say I didn’t call back.

So I figured since His Majesty the Pope was in town I would ask him for some help & gas money. I had a plan all worked out. A certain person of Bahamian descent – whom shall remain nameless – was supposed to call me as soon as she saw the Pope Mobile (by the way that $hit is nice. I bet you see somebody in Decatur hooking they ride up like that. You know Nigras). With her EYE view vantage point from Connecticut Ave it should have been a slam dunk right …well. Like I have said a many of times before – Nigras!!!

It seems she who shall remain nameless, got so excited when the Pope passed by, passed her black @ss out!!! Note to self. Never get a show stopping drama queen who has frequent bouts of heart palpitations to call you about anything important. So of course because Pensionetta (her new middle name) didn’t call me on time, the Pope Mobile passed me by. I tried to run and catch it, but after falling over two crying YT people & some dancing chicos, only ended up scraping my knee caps & elbows.

Never fear, Ms G always got a plan B. I made my way down to Pookies emporium to get a ticket for Mass the next day at the stadium. I pulled out some old Rosary beads I got from a crack head for $2 – I always knew they would come in handy – and headed for Nationals Stadium.

Security was TIGHT up in that joint. You would have sworn Be-Yawn-Say nem was up in that piece. I made my way to the front, grabbed a chair till the Pope came out. I was real inconspicuous and would’ve been able to sneak onstage if it wasn't for all that knee bending & standing & praying & kneeling and all that other stuff them Catholic peoples do. $hit I was tired and had to sit down. Well of course security spotted my ass sitting down trying to sneak my water bottle and ham sandwich out my bag. Needless to say I DID not get to see the Pope and I am currently writing this blog from a ‘secure’ DC Correctional Facility.

Alcohol more available in poor, black areas (the title alone is pure fluckery!)
I came upon this article in my daily perusal of electronic media periodicals of noteworthy news events – in other words NIGRAS; I was at work looking on the internet as usual. Needless to say I was shocked, disheartened & could not BELIEVE that such marketing practices are used in the hood!!! NO!!! I cried. I immediately called the Obama campaign headquarters because as the 1st black president this issue will surely be tops on his list.

A University of Minnesota study of 10 cities, including Boston, has found that alcohol, especially malt liquor (Schlitz Bull Anyone, Old English, 8-Ball, Old Milwaukee – some of yall prolly got this $hit in your fridge right now. If you don’t I bet your Grandma do), is more widely available in poor, black
Neighborhoods. (You don’t say? Get the fluck out of here!! I can’t believe that. Obama gone change that $hit)

The study, released yesterday, found that poor (define poor- do they mean white people poor or black people poor? Cause yall know there are different degrees of economic measurement in the hood. If a Nigra got a Cadillac & a car wash tent on the side of his house then “they got money” by hood standards) neighborhoods with high concentrations of African-Americans (Did they perchance visit the trailer park down the road & the haciendas?) had significantly greater than average numbers of liquor stores (obviously this writer missed Furious’ speech in Boys-n-da Hood.), 40-ounce bottles of malt liquor in coolers, and storefront ads promoting malt liquor (Now at this point I find this $hit almost too funny to continue a commentary!!! Everyone IN THE HOOD knows there is a Wang Lee, Abdul and Uncle Jim’s on every corner. It’s a prerequisite to reaching the American Dream.)

"It wasn't overly surprising, as I think there's been anecdotal evidence to suggest that," said Rhonda Jones-Webb, the study's principal investigator. "We are one of the first to systematically document that. (You think that may be the reason YT killed King 40 years ago on this date cause they thought he was gone be the first to “systematically document” this $hit?)

Some local activists said yesterday that liquor stores are preying on the poor (Now with this I MUST disagree. If you are POOR and ain’t got no money for groceries, books, soap etc. Should you be carrying your black @ss to the liquor store every 15 minutes for a can of Bull? I think not. But don’t worry, Obama gone stop this $hit too as soon as he is elected.). "Start at the intersection of Dudley Street and Blue Hill Avenue and go all the way to Mattapan. . . . (In our case take a stroll down Benning Road, Minnesota, Alabama, or any random street in NE. Branch Avenue, Temple Hills you name it. Largo & Mitchleville they not that close together ‘cause yall know they got them bourgie Nigras out there) There's more liquor stores than churches," said the Rev. Shaun Harrison, who works to keep youths out of gangs at Project GO (Gang Out).

A spokesman for the state's liquor store industry disputed the findings and pointed out that applications for new stores are reviewed by state and local
Agencies. (Did they actually think that YT was gone admit that they rubber stamp all the applications for the black neighborhood. But see people, like Bill Cosby say if you take your @ss to the city council meetings you might prevent some $hit. You can’t complain if you “cain’t go to no meeting cause VH1 is showing a Flava of Love marathon & you GOTS to see ole girl $hit on the steps cause you missed it the first time” while drinking your ice cold Colt 45 next to your main man with his Billy Dee waves in full effect. MFR cold blooded)

Malt liquor is of particular concern, the university researchers said, because of its high alcohol content and the fact that its 40-ounce containers are sold cold for immediate consumption at a low price.(Hung K Kim knows to keep that $hit right cause ain’t nothing like a Nigra finding a hot For-taay in your store. That $hit will damn near start a riot & bring out the NAACP for sho with protest of how the beer in the YT neighborhoods stay cold.) The study found the average 40 ounce bottle cost just $1.87, less than a gallon of milk. (Yep it’s cheaper to pour a For-taay over them dry as Capn’ Crunch instead of whole vitamin A&D. I better call the pension fund so Lady Flower can tell her Aunt Sticky Thumb to stop stealing celery out the grocery store.)

"It's cheaper than pot, cheaper than crack," (not to mention legal & taxable-understand the government game people. But Obama gone change that $hit) said Horace Small, executive director of the Union of Minority Neighborhoods, which has offices in
Roxbury and Jamaica Plain.

Small said malt liquor sales are a contributing factor to the myriad problems that impoverished communities face. "You're more prone to have a chip on your shoulder when you've got two bottles of that ($hit) ... in you," he said (is he telling us something we DON’T know? It never fails when cousin Ro-Eatha & Uncle Kee-on-Tae & Junni Boy hit that Bull it’s about to be on. The family cookout is over once them Nigras done had too many For-Taaays. Of course this never happens out Bowie – that’s the bourgie black folk & they don’t invite Mama ‘nem family to the cookouts”

While upper- and middle-class neighborhoods are likely to organize against such businesses (16th street, Bowie, Montgomery County – you know the bourgie areas), Harrison said, poor and minority communities, long ago disenfranchised, are not likely to put up much of a fight (poor should not mean lazy)

"It's a setup," (LOL!!! It’s always a set up by the man when we don’t do what WE supposed to do!! If Pookie can protest BET Uncut being pulled off the air – then.. ….nuff said) he said. Policy makers "know they're poor; they know there's violence. Why do they have to put another liquor store in there?" (I’ma call Obama & ask him to call Passa Wright)

In the early 1990s, Small organized efforts to combat drug- and alcohol-related nuisance problems in inner-city Philadelphia. He said he would like to see the same happen here in Boston

"We've got smoking cessation programs, sex awareness programs, but no one is focusing on fortified liquor consumption and its impact on communities,"
He said.

"This should be the kind of thing the City Council should at least hold a
hearing on." (and who will show up? Ms Jenkins maybe? Certainly not Peanut & Po-Kwon nem)

Peter Kessel, president of the Massachusetts Package Stores Association, said he does not believe that poor neighborhoods in Boston have more liquor stores than some more well-to-do neighborhoods.(at this statement I had to stop writing & run to the bathroom from laughing so hard. YT need to cut it out. He bout as truthful as Hillary describing how she ran from the sniper fire). He stressed that as state and local agencies review applications for new liquor stores they consider the number already operating in that neighborhood, (in other words – give the Nigras all the liquor stores they need so they won’t drive cross the railroad tracks over here.) as well as input from residents during public hearings.

"Discretion is exercised to protect the public from an overabundance of stores" in considering a store's application, Kessel said. "We are very proud of the system we have here in Massachusetts - it's based on public need (Obviously POOR BLACK FOLK need more liquor to drown out the fact they Bey Bey got locked up again. Shequisha lost her job at McDonalds cause they hired another Spanish girl – who by the why realizes it it is YOUR fault if you don’t get to work on time regardless of the bus being late –but I digress. Plus Devon got suspended for 10 days cause he told his teacher to “bow down biach and shake it like a salt shaker” If I had to deal with this & couldn’t pay light bill or get Shae Shae them limited edition Jordans I’d get drunk too)

Kessel, a liquor store owner himself, also questioned whether malt liquor is more problematic than other alcoholic beverages, pointing out that hard
liquor, such as vodka, has higher alcohol content. He also said the types of liquor sold in a package store reflect the tastes or preferences of residents in
that particular neighborhood. "You're not going to market a $100 bottle of Dom if no one is going to buy it," he said (now THIS statement was the kicker to me. Translation “You know damn well a Nigra ain’t buying no Dom unless it’s a dope boy” You have to admit the man got a point. I mean you wouldn’t sell Chitterlings – per say – in Georgetown or McLean now would you?)

Needless to say I have voiced my concern to Obama and asked him to add “No Mo Po Liquor Sto” slogan to his campaign. There may end up being some initial backlash from certain segments of the Community but if he could get Rev Rhyme to spit a verse on it & Rev Perm to hint at a protest march Po Folk might stand a chance.

OBAMA FOR CHANGE!!!