Let The Church Say Amen
If I wasn’t a good CHRISTIAN woman I would ask Jesus to jump off the cross and start all over again!!! What in the 4, 5 hells is wrong with Rev Wright? Nigra go sit your black @ss down somewhere! Some people just don’t get the BIG picture. The “Media Machine” has nothing substantial on Obama so ergo Reverend Wright. They are going to use this Nigra’s sound bites from now till Bill Clinton gets his blackness back. By the time they get through showcasing the good Rev. Dr. of all Black Churches, Obama will be the 2nd O-man outcast behind OJ. Umm Umm Umm I can’t even discuss this anymore. It gives me a migraine to think that the first viable black candidate for president will fall victim to the knee grow crabs in a barrel syndrome. All because Rev Loose Neck trying to be the next Get Ready Get Ready Pastor My Suit’s Make Me Sweat T.D. Jakes. Damn tragedy!!
If Barack doesn’t watch out, his @ss will go from the campaign trail to chained behind Noxeema Ashy Ankle Crispy Knee Caps Burnt Wee Lips Jackson (yall know who – Wesley ‘Black Man’ Snipes) in a bright orange Volusia County jump suit begging somebody to write a character reference for his @ss and fighting over who will get to share a comfy cell with Ronald Isley. Seriously folks, what in the world was Wesley thinking? I guess ‘bout all them Asian women since black women were so difficult for him to deal with. Well he’ll know next time. ‘Cause if he had a black woman she woulda told his dumb @ss not to cheat Uncle Sam – or at least gave him some of her cousin chilren’s to claim.
Reading all this confusion in the online news periodicals was starting to be too much, especially when I got to the lil boy who stole his grandma Durango truck & went to “do some hood rat stuff”. Child gave new meaning to the phrase “I’ma drive that biach till the wheels fall off!” Umm my pressure. Plus on top of that supervisor had the nerve to send me a “didn’t I tell you “type of email about the rules & procedures governing my work documents and protocol. Obviously chick had just hit the pipe and temporarily lost her mind to come at me like that. A steady paycheck does not mean I won’t whip somebody @ss in the workplace & get put out by security. It’s been done before.
I figured at this point & with my state of mind being what it was I best call my doctor and get me some disability days to sit home and regroup. Let work miss me for a few days & see if I get some snippy emails after that (I swear Massa give the key to the plantation storehouse to some of yall & you act like he willed you some slaves and claimed you as his own. Don’t let that supervisor $hit go to your head- when cutbacks come YT will be the 1st to let you go).
Although the economy is shaky I figured I could use my disability time wisely and go get a pedicure. So I drove over to Rich’s nails on Central Ave and plopped in NyGuen Li Pai Pan (THAT’S what her license says – But I call ole girl Tina) chair and asked for the works. Of course she was very accommodating and quickly began running hot water, dropping in blue bubble stuff (hope it wasn’t from China) and turning on the massager.
“Ms. G you look like you have rough day. I give something special just for you” she said.
You know them Asians always got something special just for you – be it a discount, extra circle on your nail design or what have you, they make you feel special cause you “is number 1 best customer”
Tina broke out some Epsom salt as if she had just finished an old school remedy consultation with Bigmama. I was most pleased. That is until I saw the handwritten sign hidden in the corner that said Epsom Salt -$4.00 extra.
“Ms Tina. Does this Epsom Salt cost extra?” I asked her with a straight face and a hood crook to my neck.
“No, No! For you is only $3. See you special. I give you discount. Just for you. You is #1 best customer” she stated while pointing and moving her hands wildly.
“Oh heck no!!! Fluck a $3!!” I cried while simultaneously scooping Epsom Salt out of the bowl and dropping it back in the container she scooped it out of. That $hit don’t cost but 99 cents at the $1 store. I’ll be damned if they get some more water fountains, Buddha statues and incense at my expense.
At this point I decided to call it a day and use my disability time for something more productive like writing to the judge in the Sean Bell travesty of a case and trying to get through on the Michael Baisden comment line. But first things on my list, contacting my alma matter, Florida Memorial, and asking they @ss to explain to me why my alumni dollars is going to cover Mrs. Star Jones aka Ms Thing His Nastiness His Self – Al Reynolds’ salary.
If Barack doesn’t watch out, his @ss will go from the campaign trail to chained behind Noxeema Ashy Ankle Crispy Knee Caps Burnt Wee Lips Jackson (yall know who – Wesley ‘Black Man’ Snipes) in a bright orange Volusia County jump suit begging somebody to write a character reference for his @ss and fighting over who will get to share a comfy cell with Ronald Isley. Seriously folks, what in the world was Wesley thinking? I guess ‘bout all them Asian women since black women were so difficult for him to deal with. Well he’ll know next time. ‘Cause if he had a black woman she woulda told his dumb @ss not to cheat Uncle Sam – or at least gave him some of her cousin chilren’s to claim.
Reading all this confusion in the online news periodicals was starting to be too much, especially when I got to the lil boy who stole his grandma Durango truck & went to “do some hood rat stuff”. Child gave new meaning to the phrase “I’ma drive that biach till the wheels fall off!” Umm my pressure. Plus on top of that supervisor had the nerve to send me a “didn’t I tell you “type of email about the rules & procedures governing my work documents and protocol. Obviously chick had just hit the pipe and temporarily lost her mind to come at me like that. A steady paycheck does not mean I won’t whip somebody @ss in the workplace & get put out by security. It’s been done before.
I figured at this point & with my state of mind being what it was I best call my doctor and get me some disability days to sit home and regroup. Let work miss me for a few days & see if I get some snippy emails after that (I swear Massa give the key to the plantation storehouse to some of yall & you act like he willed you some slaves and claimed you as his own. Don’t let that supervisor $hit go to your head- when cutbacks come YT will be the 1st to let you go).
Although the economy is shaky I figured I could use my disability time wisely and go get a pedicure. So I drove over to Rich’s nails on Central Ave and plopped in NyGuen Li Pai Pan (THAT’S what her license says – But I call ole girl Tina) chair and asked for the works. Of course she was very accommodating and quickly began running hot water, dropping in blue bubble stuff (hope it wasn’t from China) and turning on the massager.
“Ms. G you look like you have rough day. I give something special just for you” she said.
You know them Asians always got something special just for you – be it a discount, extra circle on your nail design or what have you, they make you feel special cause you “is number 1 best customer”
Tina broke out some Epsom salt as if she had just finished an old school remedy consultation with Bigmama. I was most pleased. That is until I saw the handwritten sign hidden in the corner that said Epsom Salt -$4.00 extra.
“Ms Tina. Does this Epsom Salt cost extra?” I asked her with a straight face and a hood crook to my neck.
“No, No! For you is only $3. See you special. I give you discount. Just for you. You is #1 best customer” she stated while pointing and moving her hands wildly.
“Oh heck no!!! Fluck a $3!!” I cried while simultaneously scooping Epsom Salt out of the bowl and dropping it back in the container she scooped it out of. That $hit don’t cost but 99 cents at the $1 store. I’ll be damned if they get some more water fountains, Buddha statues and incense at my expense.
At this point I decided to call it a day and use my disability time for something more productive like writing to the judge in the Sean Bell travesty of a case and trying to get through on the Michael Baisden comment line. But first things on my list, contacting my alma matter, Florida Memorial, and asking they @ss to explain to me why my alumni dollars is going to cover Mrs. Star Jones aka Ms Thing His Nastiness His Self – Al Reynolds’ salary.
posted by Ms G @ 7:09 AM
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