Weekend Calamity
Hello my people!!! I know you’ve been waiting with baited breath for my next post, but honey Ms G has been in recovery from a near career ending injury! Thanks to Testy T my typing days were almost at end. Went to Lucky Strike to roll a few and I guess I got a lil too fancy. Baby I call myself doing a plie` that was supposed to turn into a fancy pirouette & then I was going to slide into a split. You know like they do in professional bowling.
My my my. I wish somebody had slapped me upside my head before hand. I hit that pli – didn’t even get to the “e” and it was all over. My body swayed to the right like Lil John was shouting to my left. Thank God for that brick wall. Flashing before my eyes was the time I fell & slid under the buffet at Ryan’s; ending up with a neck full of rice and broccoli & cheese. I assure you it was nothing nice.
So I lounged around this weekend taking the leftover Vicodins I got from T.O. I know he’s going to want them back though, after that game in Philly. Damn shame. Hemingway- Couldn’t get much sleep ‘cause the dang phone kept ringing.
Mama called telling me bout their 75 year old guest (white) minister at church. Apparently he was so happy to be in the presence of black folks he momentarily forgot himself.
“I’m so happy to be here with yall. You people worship like nobody else. You’re so full of the spirit and you really let go and praise the Lord. I LOVE BLACK PEOPLE CHURCH!”
Then he went on about how he was glad to see some white folks in the audience this time as there were none last time. Mama said at this point Juan Jose Julio Ramirez Caesar Chavez stood up proclaiming “I’m Hispanic”. Apparently he didn’t want to be lumped in with the white visitors.
Well while the church thought this was hilarious and fell out laughing, a BIG commotion was occurring at the front of the church. The main pew was knocked over. The alter candles had caught the offering cloth on fire and that poor minister was on the ground choking!!
Lord Ham Mercy!! By the time they got Bigmama purse straps from ‘round his neck, the church had damn near burned down. I guess she had a Civil Rights flash back and didn’t think that shit was funny. Its gone take a whole lot of Red Lobster fried shrimp to calm her down from this one.
No point in me trying to sleep after that since I was in too much pain from laughing. I guess I better call up Willie Nelson & see if the cops left him any herbs & mushrooms. Till next time people.
My my my. I wish somebody had slapped me upside my head before hand. I hit that pli – didn’t even get to the “e” and it was all over. My body swayed to the right like Lil John was shouting to my left. Thank God for that brick wall. Flashing before my eyes was the time I fell & slid under the buffet at Ryan’s; ending up with a neck full of rice and broccoli & cheese. I assure you it was nothing nice.
So I lounged around this weekend taking the leftover Vicodins I got from T.O. I know he’s going to want them back though, after that game in Philly. Damn shame. Hemingway- Couldn’t get much sleep ‘cause the dang phone kept ringing.
Mama called telling me bout their 75 year old guest (white) minister at church. Apparently he was so happy to be in the presence of black folks he momentarily forgot himself.
“I’m so happy to be here with yall. You people worship like nobody else. You’re so full of the spirit and you really let go and praise the Lord. I LOVE BLACK PEOPLE CHURCH!”
Then he went on about how he was glad to see some white folks in the audience this time as there were none last time. Mama said at this point Juan Jose Julio Ramirez Caesar Chavez stood up proclaiming “I’m Hispanic”. Apparently he didn’t want to be lumped in with the white visitors.
Well while the church thought this was hilarious and fell out laughing, a BIG commotion was occurring at the front of the church. The main pew was knocked over. The alter candles had caught the offering cloth on fire and that poor minister was on the ground choking!!
Lord Ham Mercy!! By the time they got Bigmama purse straps from ‘round his neck, the church had damn near burned down. I guess she had a Civil Rights flash back and didn’t think that shit was funny. Its gone take a whole lot of Red Lobster fried shrimp to calm her down from this one.
No point in me trying to sleep after that since I was in too much pain from laughing. I guess I better call up Willie Nelson & see if the cops left him any herbs & mushrooms. Till next time people.
posted by Ms G @ 10:40 PM
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