The Office - Picnic Music

Lord I try so hard. But these Negroes I work with just won’t let me work in peace. I always gotta take time out to talk about their asses. Our company picnic is coming up this Friday & we’re having a DJ. Well Tokyo the Green Eyed Bandit wants to hear Tupac & Biggie. Nigga please. You know these keeblers are afraid of rap unless it’s MC Hammer. Not to mention they think the East Coast/West Coast feud still going on!!

Young K Him wants to hear YMCA & Tony Benet. Yep that’s the same thing I said. W.T.F!! Ms. Ankle Britches can’t wait to do the pee wee herman & the percolator, pants so high looking like she just finish shucking corn. Know damn well her kitchen krafted kinky twist can fall out at any time. Shaking her booty all up in Peanut face. Honey I have told you before, SOMETHINGS you just got to keep to yourself.

Now Ms BBB a.k.a. Pam Anderson a.k.a Dollywood …I could go on forever. That girl said play Rare Essence (R.E.) ‘work the walls & shake it like a white girl’. Now for those of yall who don’t know. R.E. is a Go-Go band in the chocolate city that’s very popular. They were on the Luda track ‘Pimping all Over the World’. Every show they have somebody gets stabbed, shot, beat down or some such drama. What makes her think YT gone sit comfortably by watching her slap people upside the head with her inflatable flotation devices while shaking her ‘black’ ass. In the words of Madear “Girl is you on that stuff?”

Of course Peanut, our company DJ, had to remind their ignorant asses that the picnic has a theme. It’s Oktoberfest negroes. That means we will have German beer and bratwurst. Tupac does not go with bratwurst.

Of course this dismayed Tokyo. “You might as well play Coon-bye-ya, since it’s a pic-a-nic” Lord here we go!!

Tokyo the Green Eyed Bandit will show up in his dashiki. Ms. Ankle Britches will go out and get a new pair of leg warmers just for this. Young K Him is probably now hatching a scheme to poison the food so he can eat it, take time off & file suit against the company. Ms BBB will show up in her Marc Jacobs super spandex coochie cutters special ordered from Neimans – cause she gots to look right. Ms. Chocolate Fantasy will be skipping her happy ass around without a care in the world. I swear that girl got Crunchy Black held hostage somewhere.

They will be gyrating, pu$$y popping, backing they thang up all over the damn place!!! Not to mention packing plates up for “they cuzin ‘nem” All except Ms. Rasta Dred, you know her cuzin ‘nem gone be part of the clean up crew, the catering crew, the entertainment crew and the just plain show up cause my cousin said so crew. It’s a COMPANY picnic sweetie. That means COMPANY employees.

Next thing you know there will be an executive meeting. YT will have to cancel all company events – until further notice because the “ethnic” peoples don’t know how to act. I say let Peanut play some safe music & we sit down all nice. Laugh at the YT ladies trying to do the Electric Slide. Watch them attempt ‘here comes the Hammer’ and call it a damn day!!!

p.s. Peanut if you is reading dis here – You think you can sneak in a lil 2 Live Crew or Poison Clan. “If you Gotta Lotta Booty”? THAT’S MS. G’s ANTHEM!!!