Memorable Episode I
HELP! I’ve been kidnapped and placed in a Tyler Perry play – A Wedding, Funeral & Family Reunion Gone Awry! I am at a loss of keystroke on where to begin the drama that was my extended weekend. At what point do you start a description of all the misfits, miscreants, debutantes and delusional divas that cross your path in a three day time span.
Do I start with Jamaican Jerk turning Carabana’s truck into a Jitney Bus? Or maybe Cousin Polly Pilsner attacking Floyd Mayweather Jr (I know you didn’t think I was gone say senior. He woulda killed her ass with that hair alone) at the Foot Action store? I know, how bout Rev Dr. Pastor Bishop Fellowship of the Church in a House, who delivered the eulogy for BBQ Kings dearly departed Aunt Shoes while simultaneously trying to pray my baby sister into being his concubine (Lord forgive me for this one). Or I could simply begin and end with Uncle Mini Fester backing his FORD F150 into a tree and spinning off like Grady with Shug saying “I thought the Po-lice was gone get us for sure!”
As you can see there was so much going on and since I really can’t determine the start from the finish I have decided to break it down for you in a three part documentary. That’s right I’m talking Roots quality miniseries on my experience. So make sure you call your friends, neighbors, baby mammas & daddies cause you don’t want anyone to miss an installment.
Just to give you a sneak peak on coming episodes I’ma drop a few snippets. I have to cuss out Cousin Walrus & his girlfriend Pinky for drinking up all my damn Corona. Lady Carabana explodes about the cost of gas. There is even a Maury ‘Who’s your baby daddy’ DNA episode. So stay tuned folks while I pull all the pieces together for your reading pleasure. Now I must go and pontificate on the perforation of the document. I kill myself sometime.
Do I start with Jamaican Jerk turning Carabana’s truck into a Jitney Bus? Or maybe Cousin Polly Pilsner attacking Floyd Mayweather Jr (I know you didn’t think I was gone say senior. He woulda killed her ass with that hair alone) at the Foot Action store? I know, how bout Rev Dr. Pastor Bishop Fellowship of the Church in a House, who delivered the eulogy for BBQ Kings dearly departed Aunt Shoes while simultaneously trying to pray my baby sister into being his concubine (Lord forgive me for this one). Or I could simply begin and end with Uncle Mini Fester backing his FORD F150 into a tree and spinning off like Grady with Shug saying “I thought the Po-lice was gone get us for sure!”
As you can see there was so much going on and since I really can’t determine the start from the finish I have decided to break it down for you in a three part documentary. That’s right I’m talking Roots quality miniseries on my experience. So make sure you call your friends, neighbors, baby mammas & daddies cause you don’t want anyone to miss an installment.
Just to give you a sneak peak on coming episodes I’ma drop a few snippets. I have to cuss out Cousin Walrus & his girlfriend Pinky for drinking up all my damn Corona. Lady Carabana explodes about the cost of gas. There is even a Maury ‘Who’s your baby daddy’ DNA episode. So stay tuned folks while I pull all the pieces together for your reading pleasure. Now I must go and pontificate on the perforation of the document. I kill myself sometime.
posted by Ms G @ 4:19 AM
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