Donations

Folks, Ms G is starting a collection campaign for my own traveling fund. It seems I need to travel the country and slap some sense into people’s heads – starting with that damn O.J. Simpson. That super size head fool just will not leave well enough alone. I called his dumb ass last night too, so I could tell him about himself.

“O.J., What the hell are you doing writing a book ‘If I Did It?” I asked

“Oh hey Ms G. How you doing? I’m just tryna make a few dollars since selling meth didn’t pan out for me. You know I gotta keep my name out there. I’m doing an interview on Fox news as well. You wanna fly out & join me in the studio?”

Now at this point I know this nigga can’t be that damn dumb to think I would associate myself with this type of foolishness. I mean how you gone write a book detailing how the murders would have gone if “you” committed it? I heard a lot of rattling & carrying on in the background so I assume that nigga still smoking crack. DUMB! Just plain dumb!

“Now Orenthal James ain’t got a lick of sense Simpson, you know DAMN well you ain’t got no business antagonizing folks, particularly YT, over this murder business. Nigga have you lost your mind?”

“Nope. Hey I gotta continue to get money so I can get me some more blond YT girls & take care of them and their families. Plus Sydney & Justin got expenses & habits and you know Ron Goldman daddy still after me.”

“SAY WHAT? Well suit yourself ‘cause you know Nancy Grace is coming after your black ass. I can see her getting her nasal passages tweaked now. Just know that you are making it a hard road to travel for the rest of the brothas who ain’t got enuff money to buy their way out of trouble. YT is going to be on erybody like rappers on platinum just ‘cause you free and rubbing it in their faces. They liable to start lynching again! But I know you can’t relate ‘cause you ain’t been black since you won the trial. Bye O.J. I’m going to add you to my prayer list.”

I didn’t even bother to ask him for my O.J. prize for “we won, we won” since he claims to be broke. I’m just going to have to ask Bigmama to send one of her missionary traveling sisters down to O.J. house to beat him in the head with some bibles.

After my conversation with O.J., I decided to make a list of celebrities who will benefit from my advice. I mean there are plenty of us running around acting like fools!!

Star Jones – Eat Biach Eat!! With your extra hongry ass!!!

Shar Jackson – Ho, get a life!! You making the rest of us baby mamas look bad. K-Fed does not want your ass & Britney is not gone buy your kids stuff no more!!

Vivica Fox – Girl stop playing & take that Saran Wrap off your face
LisaRaye – Honeymoon is over. Stop wearing all that damn white.

Karrine Steffans – Call Maury at 1-800-DNA-HELP so we can know who your baby daddy is. Bobby ain’t claiming it ‘cause he say he already got enough child support he cain’t pay.

Al Sharpton – Ooooh Rev Ike III, who is messing up your perm these days. Saw you on TV the other night & the curls were looking a RuPaul hot mess!

Pattie Labelle – I love you Aunt Pattie but please keep the drag queens off your hair & make up team. You are not family!

Brandy – You know better than taking your fake unwed mother lying ass up to that black church with dem YT scientoly peoples. You know Bishop Jakes ‘nem don’t play that!

Aretha Franklin – ReRe, please call Kirsty Allie

President Bush – Put a lil hot sauce on that humble pie, it’ll taste better.

Whitney Houston – FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST! THANK GOD ALMIGHTY I’M FREE AT LAST!


P.S. Ms G sends her prayers out to the families of Ed Bradley & Gerald Levert.