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If anyone knows of a job opening or a company hiring please let me Ms G know. Unfortunate events led to an altercation at my work place; therefore I must find other means to make a living. I really tried not to beat this dirty tooth biach ass but she just wouldn’t leave well enough ALONE!!!

About a year ago my company was sending me to Baltimore for a conference and even though it is only a skip & half a hop from my own abode, I was NOT going on my own dime. I followed the rules, submitted my money request and asked them for a check. Simple right? WRONG!! Because we got so many simple, non understanding Hoettes up in here, they cain’t get nothing right. Them simple MFR’s put the money in my off shore account – yes Ms G got some extracurricular activities going on but that’s another blog.

Fast forward to this year. The queen of accounting Ms Dirty Tooth sends her lil minion, Big Head on stilts, down here to ask me about the receipts for the money. I politely inform her that I didn’t get a check because I didn’t have to go. She shakes her head and replies:

“Yes, yes. You is go to bank Ms G & take money ‘cause we is put it there.”

I give her the ‘biach please look’ and put my hand up to halt all this nonsense that I can’t understand any damn way!!

“I didn’t get any damn check. Where did the check go?”

Of course Ms Tai Pan (aka Big Head) looks real perplexed & tells me she will have to get back to me. She comes back two weeks later with a transmit ledger showing the money going to my off shore account. I tell her I have to verify the deposit & I will pay after that. Well this obviously doesn’t sit well with Ms Dirty Tooth. She emails me saying –copies my boss mind you - she needs something showing I spent the money on business or I need to right Dumb Ass Company a check.

Now this biach tried me like I got a food stamp card. So I told that Ho I wasn’t go pay nothing till they pay me my payroll paycheck. Yeah I know it’s petty but I had to show her Ms G don’t play that shit. Well I guess I didn’t pay fast enough because she sends an email again & copies my boss, his boss & her boss. That petty short brown tooth burnt yellow skin stank breath uneven bob cut cheese face biach!!! You wait.

At this point I told Ms Ankle Britches to take a check upstairs to Brownie & bring me a receipt. She comes back telling me Brownie say she doesn’t give receipts, “This ain’t no store.” Ms BBB fell out of her chair laughing but I didn’t think this shit was funny. I marched to the elevator ready go to her floor & whip some ass. Well I’ll be damned if the elevator door didn’t open & she was standing there.

“Biach!!! Where is my MFR receipt?”

“When you get your check back that will be your receipt.” She replied while attempting to walk off.

I snatched her arm & spun her around with a ferocity that surprised everyone including my damn self.

“You brown tooth short leg long back sow! Don’t walk off when Ms. G is talking to you. You better respect this here!!”

“Whatever Ms G. You take the money. You pay. You always try get something for nothing.”

“First off nobody ain’t tell yall dumb asses to give me the money anyway. I told Ms Cain’t Hear to cancel the damn request. Secondly your last day is tomorrow anyway. It ain’t your money. What you trying to make a last stand? Well you bout to get a last ass whipping!!!”

I yoked that biach cross the back of her neck with the flat of my left hand. Honey, those teeth ain’t brown for nothing, cause they must hold some type of super power fluid. That broke neck short stop punched me dead in my eye! Ankle Britches screamed and BBB fell out laughing. All the commotion caused Tokyo the Green Eyed Bandit & BK Miller to dash from their offices to the main hall.

After I got over the initial shock I grabbed that heifer & proceeded to beat that ass like she stole 3 things. You know how your mama beat your behind when you used all the sugar for one pack of Kool-Aid? I grabbed her hair with my left hand & went to work with my right.

“Biach …..-*fist upside her ear*- don’t you ever -*fist in the eye & nose*- long as you MFR LIVE - * knee to stomach, elbow to her back*- cross me like that! Is you crazy? Didn’t I tell your ass -* slammed to the ground, jumping on top*- I was gone pay you when I got paid? -* choking & shaking her repeatedly*- Huh? Don’t you know I will -*banging her head against floor*- kill your stank breath ass?”

By this time my boss Mr. Man Jr. comes running down the hall screaming. “Ms G, Ms G please stop!!! Someone help” he yells. He tries to pull me off of her so I add a second knot to his head.

“Get off of me I ain’t stopping till I’m satisfied or tired, whichever comes first!”

Someone decides to call the police but they don’t come right away since they think it’s another misdial from Christopher Williams down stairs. Next thing you know I feel this stick hitting my head & someone asking what’s happening? It seems El Presidente got word of the commotion & came to see what was going on. I almost snatched that cane to show him what was going on but I caught myself just in time. Like Bigmama say it’s against the law to beat the elderly & disabled.

I hear sirens & decide I better make a clean break for it. I’m too tired to run down the back stairs so I just hop on the elevator instead. Ms BBB comes down with Tokyo & they hide me in the back of her mini-van. I wait at least 2 hours until I can get a train home. Now I have to figure out who I’m going to use for a reference. How I’m going to get my pictures, supplies not to mention my bootleg CD’s from the office. Oh well. But if yall know of someone hiring please let me know. I promise not to kick butt at your place of business. I wouldn’t do you like that.