Missing In Action
Hi Family!!! Honey Ms. G has gotten letters from all over the country, wanting to know where I am and who I'm with. Well I am in the land of cotton. I'm on VACATION!!! Vacation means I'm resting. I came home for Thanksgiving to see Mama and Bigmama and to eat some down home southern cooking.
The truth of the matter is, I have eaten so many collard greens, yams, chittlins- yes Ms G ain't too cute to eat chittlins - dressing, turkey, cuban sandwiches, goat dinners, cakes and pies that I was all SWOLE up for 3 days and couldn't move my damn fingers. Lord Ham Mercy it's a sin to eat so much. But I had to get mine before erybody else got theirs. Mama had so many knee-grows over it didn't make no damn sense.
I saw cousins I ain't seent in years!! Aunt Ruthie still kicking at 86 with her gheri curl - yes GHERI curl. Aunt Kool-Aid got one too. Con Esther (con=cousin for yall that don't know) was looking like dee-lee-yuck mama on speed. She know damn well don't nobody spray they head up that high no more. I wanna kidnap her ass & yank that bird's nest out. Con Leroy got two more golds in his mouth & he so happy to finally spell out his baby mama name cross his grill. Ain't that love yall?
Ms G loves her family but child I had to beat two stray cousin ass. It's always some folk gotta show up & act like niggas. Now I had already fixed this 4th related biach and her friend nice big healthy plates so they should have been satisfied. Right? WRONG!!! As soon as I left the kitchen dem hoettes grabbed foil, extra plates & grocery bags & started packing up. But see Cuzo Pookie always on his job. That nigga dialed my cell to get me an undercover message. He was all the way at Aunt Boosie house & heard about them packing up in Mama kitchen.
By the time I slid my overstuffed ass out the chair & rolled from under the table, they asses was already in the drive way. I yelled out to them "Where yall going with all them bags" and them chicks broke out like Carl Lewis chasing a new fade haircut. They were no match for me though. I grabbed Con Double Teeth by her horse hair & yanked that cow to the ground. She hit that concrete like Whitney used to hit that pipe. That biach held on to those plates though. Didn't drop a collard leaf. I sat right on her stomach & put my knees on her neck till she dropped the bag. I passed it to Lil G & proceeded to go after her friend who proved a bit more difficult. That chick jumped over Granny Eddie Jean's(neighbor) chicken coop like Smoky on Friday. I had feathers stuck in my hair for days!!
Hemingway....I'll be back in the chocolate city in a few. Still got some cotton stalks to clean. Just Kidding!!
The truth of the matter is, I have eaten so many collard greens, yams, chittlins- yes Ms G ain't too cute to eat chittlins - dressing, turkey, cuban sandwiches, goat dinners, cakes and pies that I was all SWOLE up for 3 days and couldn't move my damn fingers. Lord Ham Mercy it's a sin to eat so much. But I had to get mine before erybody else got theirs. Mama had so many knee-grows over it didn't make no damn sense.
I saw cousins I ain't seent in years!! Aunt Ruthie still kicking at 86 with her gheri curl - yes GHERI curl. Aunt Kool-Aid got one too. Con Esther (con=cousin for yall that don't know) was looking like dee-lee-yuck mama on speed. She know damn well don't nobody spray they head up that high no more. I wanna kidnap her ass & yank that bird's nest out. Con Leroy got two more golds in his mouth & he so happy to finally spell out his baby mama name cross his grill. Ain't that love yall?
Ms G loves her family but child I had to beat two stray cousin ass. It's always some folk gotta show up & act like niggas. Now I had already fixed this 4th related biach and her friend nice big healthy plates so they should have been satisfied. Right? WRONG!!! As soon as I left the kitchen dem hoettes grabbed foil, extra plates & grocery bags & started packing up. But see Cuzo Pookie always on his job. That nigga dialed my cell to get me an undercover message. He was all the way at Aunt Boosie house & heard about them packing up in Mama kitchen.
By the time I slid my overstuffed ass out the chair & rolled from under the table, they asses was already in the drive way. I yelled out to them "Where yall going with all them bags" and them chicks broke out like Carl Lewis chasing a new fade haircut. They were no match for me though. I grabbed Con Double Teeth by her horse hair & yanked that cow to the ground. She hit that concrete like Whitney used to hit that pipe. That biach held on to those plates though. Didn't drop a collard leaf. I sat right on her stomach & put my knees on her neck till she dropped the bag. I passed it to Lil G & proceeded to go after her friend who proved a bit more difficult. That chick jumped over Granny Eddie Jean's(neighbor) chicken coop like Smoky on Friday. I had feathers stuck in my hair for days!!
Hemingway....I'll be back in the chocolate city in a few. Still got some cotton stalks to clean. Just Kidding!!
posted by Ms G @ 7:14 AM
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