My Nerves My Nerves
My goodness! My goodness!! You talk about a stressful two weeks for Ms G!!! Honey Jesus is threatening to come down off the cross and slap somebody upside the head I’ve been going through so much! My buddy BK Miller had to pull a Petey Green at the workplace with the man ‘cause they gave a brother the shaft. Shanked him when he wasn’t looking! Just dirty! I know you’re wondering what happened but it’s just much much too painful for Ms G to talk about right now. I wanted to go down in solidarity with my peoples but honey Lil G likes to eat & Ms G needs her few coins.
Just as I attempt to settle down from that with a bottle of Tequila Ley .925 -Patron is so commonly ghetto now – and shrimp cocktail & TV, Bobbi Christina calls me crying about why I didn’t get her daddy out of jail!! Oh my that lil heffa is something. I told her I was half asleep when her daddy called. I didn’t think he was in jail for real, for real. He’s always calling me asking for something. So when he rang, I did my usual and hung up on his scaffold lip ass. Who knew he hadn’t paid his baby mama. Now I feel bad.
Hemingway – The Oscars. Oh my, the Oscars. I was on the phone giving Miss Hudson & Miss Rose their props on their WONDERFUL live performance – B-Yawn-Say didn’t want to come to the phone. I guess she knew I was gone chew that ass out about all that hollin & screaming she was doing. Sounding like a broke back bilingual banshee up there on that stage in front of all them YT folks. She know she “ain’t got no time with dem gals” as Bigmama used to say. Know your place Honey, know your place. But I digress (picked that up from Tavis Smiley). Someone was banging, and kicking on my door and shouting at the top of there lungs calling me everything but half a child of God. Now this is the last thing I needed after that Foxy Brown incident last week. I don’t want the police at my house two weeks in a row!
I grab my billy club and head to the window. Lo and behold Eddie ‘Norbit’ Murphy done jumped a jet and got his ass in front of my door, wrinkled tux and all calling me a Bitter Biach. Now see that’s how Nigras is. I told him not to release that Norbit shit before the Oscars, but noooooooo he Eddie Murphy, he ain’t pressed. Now he trying to blame me saying I sabotaged his chances. Now really people. Ms G don’t know nobody at the academy. He better talk that Muhammad Khalil Jihad something. You know the protest leader. I was way to stressed to even deal with Eddie’s foolishness so I quickly threw a picture of a skinny extra light skinneded long hair flat booty former Jack & Jiller ex-friend of mine out the window to him. Worked like a charm.
With all this going on by Monday night I was completely Diana Ross traumatized & needed something. I had forgotten all about watching TV with Lil G and she ain’t the type of child to take no for an answer. She might have one of her lil thugalicious boyfriends do me harm. So against my better judgment I climbed on her futon to watch the Oprah Leadership Academy Special.
Good God WHY!!! I love Ms O-Free, God knows I do, but I’ll kill her dead ‘fore I let her make me cry again! Honey them lil African girls was so focused on they edu-ma-cation and just so HAPPY in their sing song voices I couldn’t stop crying. You talk about a blessing. Honey Ms O is the queen. She put her money where her mouth is. I was so inspired by those girls I told Lil G from now on her ass gone walk to school and catch her lunch in the wild. Then she might learn to appreciate stuff. I went to bed with a clear conscience & an eased heart. What did I have to be stressed about?
Just as I attempt to settle down from that with a bottle of Tequila Ley .925 -Patron is so commonly ghetto now – and shrimp cocktail & TV, Bobbi Christina calls me crying about why I didn’t get her daddy out of jail!! Oh my that lil heffa is something. I told her I was half asleep when her daddy called. I didn’t think he was in jail for real, for real. He’s always calling me asking for something. So when he rang, I did my usual and hung up on his scaffold lip ass. Who knew he hadn’t paid his baby mama. Now I feel bad.
Hemingway – The Oscars. Oh my, the Oscars. I was on the phone giving Miss Hudson & Miss Rose their props on their WONDERFUL live performance – B-Yawn-Say didn’t want to come to the phone. I guess she knew I was gone chew that ass out about all that hollin & screaming she was doing. Sounding like a broke back bilingual banshee up there on that stage in front of all them YT folks. She know she “ain’t got no time with dem gals” as Bigmama used to say. Know your place Honey, know your place. But I digress (picked that up from Tavis Smiley). Someone was banging, and kicking on my door and shouting at the top of there lungs calling me everything but half a child of God. Now this is the last thing I needed after that Foxy Brown incident last week. I don’t want the police at my house two weeks in a row!
I grab my billy club and head to the window. Lo and behold Eddie ‘Norbit’ Murphy done jumped a jet and got his ass in front of my door, wrinkled tux and all calling me a Bitter Biach. Now see that’s how Nigras is. I told him not to release that Norbit shit before the Oscars, but noooooooo he Eddie Murphy, he ain’t pressed. Now he trying to blame me saying I sabotaged his chances. Now really people. Ms G don’t know nobody at the academy. He better talk that Muhammad Khalil Jihad something. You know the protest leader. I was way to stressed to even deal with Eddie’s foolishness so I quickly threw a picture of a skinny extra light skinneded long hair flat booty former Jack & Jiller ex-friend of mine out the window to him. Worked like a charm.
With all this going on by Monday night I was completely Diana Ross traumatized & needed something. I had forgotten all about watching TV with Lil G and she ain’t the type of child to take no for an answer. She might have one of her lil thugalicious boyfriends do me harm. So against my better judgment I climbed on her futon to watch the Oprah Leadership Academy Special.
Good God WHY!!! I love Ms O-Free, God knows I do, but I’ll kill her dead ‘fore I let her make me cry again! Honey them lil African girls was so focused on they edu-ma-cation and just so HAPPY in their sing song voices I couldn’t stop crying. You talk about a blessing. Honey Ms O is the queen. She put her money where her mouth is. I was so inspired by those girls I told Lil G from now on her ass gone walk to school and catch her lunch in the wild. Then she might learn to appreciate stuff. I went to bed with a clear conscience & an eased heart. What did I have to be stressed about?
posted by Ms G @ 3:58 AM
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